Tough Talks: How Negotiation Equips Leaders To Facilitate Conversations on Diversity

As I have reflected on the recent events in which a celebrity was called to task about the incendiary nature of their casual language and conversation, I am struck with disappointment. The public’s response to their behavior has revealed the ways in which we need to sharpen our ability to engage people in tough conversations about diversity and inclusion in the workplace. It is such a hot issue in education that at the University of Chicago, where I am a PhD candidate, there have been a series of conversations to equip student-leaders with language and technique for diversity dialogue. The following are some pointers for negotiation and engaging in dialogue about diversity:

1. Conversation is always an opportunity to clearly express and respectfully listen to the people with whom we dialogue. Commit to staying in the moment.
2. Be dispassionate. At a roundtable for campus leaders, Soledad O’Brien cautioned those gathered to not allow their emotions to take over the conversation.  We get distracted when we carried away with emotion and lose sight of the conflict at hand. The challenge of dialogues around diversity is that people have not developed the language for their experiences yet. Do not be offended by unrefined expression. Be patient and use your words in a nuanced manner.
3. Be clear.
4. Empathize during the dialogue. Be sure to consider the other person’s perspective and hope that the last thing they would want to do is offend you.
5. Check your intention. Make sure that you are in dialogue to understand the other person’s perspective, even if you were the one who was insulted or offended. It is more important to achieve understanding than to be right.
6. Reason with each other. Focus on conveying the education moment in the conflict. What can be learned from this? How can we better communicate our experiences?
7.  Make no assumptions about the other party’s willingness to learn, understand, or change.
8. Listen.

 

I hope that this list is helpful. Do you have any pointers to add to this list? I welcome your thoughts.

Alisha Lola Jones @Move_And_Shake is the author of “Who Do You Think You Are?” She is on our thegenerationaleffect.com Board of Directors and is also co-executive producer of www.geniusformen.org. She has been branded a Highest and Best Life Strategist who enlarges your capacity to do all things well. Presently, Rev. Jones is completing PhD research in ethnomusicology at the University of Chicago with a focus on men and masculinity in gospel music performance.

A Woman’s Worth

Beautiful, intelligent, artistic, expressive, emotional, caring and positive are some of the great characteristics that many of you young ladies possess or are developing. Part of your whole being is also how you carry yourself. As a woman of God, we always seek for the Proverbs 31 status as an example of what a righteous and good woman should be like. However living in a world of superficiality it can be very difficult sometimes to live up to that standard. Don’t be alarmed, even if you have maybe deviated from that Proverbs 31 standard in the past, remember that your yesterday is not today, and your today is not your tomorrow.

As a young woman writing to young women it can often get very repetitive or sound alike in the way we have something to say about “A Woman’s Worth”. Therefore this month’s issue is a special edition to all women out there, especially for the Mothers on Mother’s Day and future wives or mothers one day. I truly believe that it is important to understand  not only how women see a woman’s worth, but also to know how men value women and the worth they see in a woman.

So let’s get some advice from a few men whom I consider as my dear friends and who took the time and effort to answer the following question that I stated each in their own opinion: How should a woman be treated?

“I believe a woman should be treated based on how she treats herself in a sense. Or at least that is what she will most likely receive”- Emmanuel Avraham

“A man should treat a woman as Gods asks us to.”- Glenn Miller Jr.

“A man should treat a woman with more honor than shown to himself. In relationships, lead her as his spiritual equal. In general, respect her like a mother, protect her like a sista and giver of life. Seeking to uphold and maintaining pure relationships, respecting their boundaries, empowering their gifts, talents, contributions to society and to the Kingdom.”- Dawyen Sekajipo

“Many women have many virtues. She should be treated with respect and dignity.   It depends upon the man and upon the woman.” – Reginald Eldridge Jr.

“Well I believe a woman is a gift from God. She isn’t a piece of meat nor is she a toy to play with her emotions. A man is supposed to love his queen like God loves his church.” – Victor Alvarez

“He should be patient, and listen to what she has to say. And he should lead her in the right ways, without trying to rule over her. He should be there for her.”- Joel Banks

“To a man a woman is the greatest creation of God. Further pay attention to her emotions, listen to her, compliment her a lot, don’t be scared to hold her hands etc.”- Ifrish Alberg

Wow! Look at that ladies. It seems that there are some men out there that know what a woman’s worth is.  I celebrate to all women this month. It has been confirmed ladies. You are worth to be treated like a Queen, with respect, dignity and to be loved, to be complimented and remember how worthy you are.

Stay blessed and examples of women.

Nikita Naomi Carter, a featured P31 Effect blogger,  is an audacious young International from Amsterdam, The Netherlands.  She is a dancer/choreographer and has been using her passion for over 15 years.  In her free time she travels the world and  is a missionary at heart.  Nikita currently lives in Tampa, FL, has a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from the University of South Florida.  She can be reached at https://nikita-carter.squarespace.com/about/

“She’s Got A Big Ego”: Facing A Critique of Wonder Women and Other Super Heroes’

I must admit that I had a little apprehension about being described as a Wonder Woman. Women who are ambitious and high performing are often perceived as being superhuman or not human at all. They are imagined to be imbalanced, untamable, insensitive, unsatisfied, autonomous, not at peace, a liability, unattractive, self-centered, and difficult. And to refer to myself as a Wonder Woman might be perceived as confirming suspicions that I have a big ego. In short, accepting the assertion of being a Wonder Woman could be very off-putting to others.

In many ways, those negative perceptions also cause women who have ambition to doubt their extraordinary power, as they develop their gifts. The truth is that high performing people – though they may never get the chance to tell you — are the most intimately aware of their flaws. I know that I am. In many super heroes’ minds, their greatest competition is with themselves. They are focused on attaining their personal best. As a result, the most effective weapon against them comes from within. Self-doubt is a form of spiritual attack that we launch against ourselves. It is a cunning kryptonite because as we doubt ourselves we dim our light not realizing that we seal our destruction.

And therein lays the tension of being a superhero. It is the complexity of dealing with people’s perception of us versus how we feel about ourselves, while embracing what God is doing in the midst of us. We must remain clear that what people think about us is not the same as what God has called and purposed us to be.

How do we shift focus from our weaknesses and gain healthy confidence? How do we become women who draw people because of God’s mighty work through us? In what ways can we be well-rounded Wonder Women?

As I think of the Wonder Women I admire, I refer to them as such because their presence evokes the question: How is she able to do all that she does?

In Proverbs 31, we find that real Wonder Women inspire awe and stand out because they have discovered their power. They are industrious and good stewards of their time, talent, and treasure.  They are vision oriented. They cultivate a great support system. They use their leadership to uplift others. They understand that they have their influence, in order to extend grace to the people with whom they work. And it is the manner with which they deal with critique, as teachable moments that provides an opportunity for their inner Wonder Woman to emerge. They know how to focus and manage others’ personalities, while not being easily offended by adversity. They know that dealing with challenges is a condition of being a wonder.

We bring honor to God when we can graciously learn from challenges. It takes a commitment to the process of becoming better to get profound insight from setbacks. Difficulty alerts us to areas in which we can grow and become better. Wonder women know how to be decent and in order just as much as they know how to stand out. For them, discipline is a daily practice.

Let me caution you. If you are truly making your mark as a Wonder Woman, there will be people whose role is to bring confusion and doubt into your life. It will be guised as critique. God is not the author of confusion. If you exercise wisdom, your careful interaction with those people can sharpen your discernment. Wonder Women understand that those who oppose them are used by God to keep them from being comfortable where they are. They help us to know when seasons change and to keep moving forward.  Wonder Women can’t move forward if we are worshipping our present position.

This complex season of emerging as Wonder Women requires support and prayerful guidance. This what we hope to begin to midwife you through in our Wonder Women webinar. Won’t you join us on May 19^th? My dear friend Eunice Nuekie Cofie and I will be talking about our strategies to embrace the awe that can only be revealed through the great work that God is doing in our lives.

(To register for our upcoming Wonderwoman Webinar, visit us online at: http://www.thegenerationaleffect.com/news_dtl.php?id=2)

Alisha Lola Jones @Move_And_Shake is the author of “Who Do You Think You Are?” https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/who-do-you-think-you-are/id294945226

She is on our thegenerationaleffect.com Board of Directors and is also co-executive producer of www.geniusformen.org. She has been branded a Highest and Best Life Strategist who enlarges your capacity to do all things well. Presently, Rev. Jones is completing PhD research in ethnomusicology at the University of Chicago with a focus on men and masculinity in gospel music performance.

Every Girl Wants to be a Wonderwoman

As a little girl, I was always fascinated by the superheroes I watched on my favorite cartoons. They had these amazing super powers to be able to fly, use their eyes to see into the future, transport themselves to another place, and saving the day of those who were in harm’s way. I would always think to myself, “Wow, she is a wonder!”. I tried my best to copy my favorite superheroes, even going to the length of jumping off of my parents’ couch flapping my arms in hopes that could fly like them. Now that I am older, my views of what a superwoman embodies have changed. The reality is that a woman of wonder doesn’t exhibit the same super powers I saw on TV as a kid.  Rather, she is a woman who along with her great strength has many frailties.  She is a woman who knows how to handle the ups and downs of life while still remaining persistent in pursuing her purpose. She has the ability to uplift other women and men around her while she is on her quest to personal discovery. Finally, a wonderwoman believes in herself and her worth when no one else believes in her. This is what she uses to rule her world! I encourage every woman to take these three steps to help her see the wonder in her:

1. Get silent and sit with yourself. – Take 30 minutes a day to quiet your mind and sit peacefully with yourself. Sometimes we get caught in the hustle and bustle of the day that we can no longer hear God and ourselves. It is easy to fall prey to what the world says about you. What is most important to know is what God thinks about you and what you think about you. Use this time to reflect on your dreams and what really makes you happy.

2. Write a list of 20 things that you love about yourself. At times we don’t give ourselves enough credit for the great attributes that we have within us. We can be very hard on ourselves at times. What are things that you love about yourself? Is it your smile, your delicious cooking, or your sense of style? I love that I smart, resourceful, and beautiful.  Write them down and post them on your wall where you can see it every day.

3. Affirm yourself. – When you wake-up every morning, before you go to bed and when you just a boost of feel good energy, speak the great attributes that you love about yourself through affirmations. So if you love that you are smart, your affirmation could state “I love being smart and I am getting smarter and smarter every day.” Also, if there is attribute that you are trying to grow in then speak that into your world. As a wonderwoman, you have the power to change your atmosphere with your words!

As you move on this life journey, my hope is that when people see you they will say to themselves, “Wow, she is a wonder!”.

(Every Girl Wants to be a Wonderwoman was written in honor of our upcoming P31 Girls and Young Ladies Conference.  Join us as we teach girls and young ladies to live classy, fab and wonderful lives. For more information, visit us online at http://www.facebook.com/thegenerationaleffect)

Eunice Cofie, @nuekie, is a member of our thegenerationaleffect.com Board of Directors and is the President and Chief Cosmetic Chemist of Nuekie, an ethnic dermatology company. She is an expert in cosmetic science, entrepreneurship, personal and professional development, and leadership.

A Father’s Voice…

 

Where do I start, our voices carry the will and purpose of God. If we remain silent, all of us are doomed. As a father, I’ve seen and experienced the highs and lows of interacting with a generation of children that want what they want, when they want it. Our wants are never more important than our needs. Our desire to keep pace with defective examples that flow without merit visually in movies and on television, gives an edge to evil as it distorts life’s true meaning and purpose. The enemies of the kingdom, wants all of us to be exposed to the lie first and shielded from the truth for as long as possible. There are always two sides to every story, but the agents of death and destruction would have you sip from their cup of deceit.

Our young ladies are the Crown Jewels of mankind. God says that you are more valuable than rubies. (Proverbs 31:10) Let me be the first to warn you… Everyone you meet are not on your side, and everyone you meet will not tell you the truth. Seek truth for in doing so you are securing your freedom. Small things do matter, honesty, hard work, showing respect for those in your home as well as those in your community and maintaining your dignity will give you a healthy start in life. Those elements will be a major part of your foundation for success.

Our gifts are not given to us for personal consumption. The sun and the rain are given to all of us freely. The difference is what we do with the sun and the rain, do we make it a curse or do we make it a blessing? The same can be said about the goodness of God, do we make it a blessing or a curse? Our choices not only shape who we are today but who we will become tomorrow.

(A Father’s Voice was written in honor of our upcoming P31 Girls and Young Ladies Conference.  Join us as we teach girls and young ladies to live classy, fab and wonderful lives. For more information, visit us online at http://www.facebook.com/thegenerationaleffect)

Rev. Julius E. Francis, Jr. is originally from Brunswick, Georgia.  Julius received his Bachelors degree in Elementary Education from Albany State University and his Masters degree in Educational Leadership from Rollins College in Winter Park, Florida.  Since his retirement from being an Educator, he has enjoyed traveling and is still working to make a positive difference by serving others in various non-profit organizations. He and his wife, Rudene, have been married for 40 years, they have four adult children, Julie, Alicia, Brook Marie and Julius, and ten grandchildren.

I Have a Dream

I have a dream that one day girls and women will realize that they are worth more than rubies or pearls. That beauty is fleeting, virtue is honorable and a quiet and gentle spirit is attractive. That strength and dignity must be worn at all times and love, kindness and confidence must be birthed from within, not without. I have a dream.

I feel like I am a part of a revolution to transform a cultural shift that has taken place right underneath our noses and without us even taken notice.  I remember when I was a teenager, I would hear songs like “Ladies First” by Queen Latifah or “Brenda Got a Baby”  and “Keep Your Head Up” by Tupac Shakur.  And as of late, the lyrics have changed to dropping a “Molly” (which is a drug) in a girls drink so that she can be raped and many of the messengers have changed to half naked women gyrating on stage.  To find anything halfway decent on television, you have to remain on the Game Network or else you will be bombarded by scandals, new norms, dramatic housewives, or vampires taking over the world.  What has happened?

The exceptions have become the majority.

The things that were taboo have crept right into the minds of the next generation of leaders.

Our kids (biological or not) are becoming desensitized to having a higher standard and moral regard for life.

We must wake up. As parents and community and faith members we must wake up.

This summer, we will be hosting a Girls and Ladies Conference near Orlando, Florida.  We are on a mission to teach middle, high and college/young adult aged girls what it really means to have class, live a fabulous life, and in turn, become a wonder for their generation to see.  We want to give them practical steps on how to transition from being a girl to a young woman, have real conversations on life, love and purpose, and empower them with tools that will help them live successful, and drama-less filled lives.  On June 7-8, a few older women have decided to reach back to the next generation to share our stories, because we know our stories are their stories.  And each and every girl will walk away with a personal vision for their lives, a renewed purpose, and a chance to live again.  The best part is that it is absolutely free, so whoever wants to come, can come.

How can you get involved? By clicking on the links below:

• Sponsor a girl for $10 or become a Corporate Donor:

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/p31-effect-girls-conference-part-2/x/2189127

• Register for our “Wonderwomen Rule the World Webinar”:

http://www.thegenerationaleffect.com/news_dtl.php?id=2

• Volunteer during the event:

http://www.signupgenius.com/go/8050E4BAFAE23A57-p31girls

• Bring girls and register for the Conference:

http://p31effectconference.eventbrite.com/

• Spread the word:

https://www.facebook.com/TheGenerationalEffect

This dream requires action to make it a reality.  Will you help girls (your daughter, your niece, your neighbor) realize their worth?  I will.

Brook Marie Eneas, @dgiinspired, serves as our Foundation’s Executive Director.  She has an uncommon gift to inspire women and girls to live their dreams through her passion as a life coach, fitness coach and motivational speaker.  She is a proud homemaker, the sole proprietress of DGI Inspired, LLC and Higher Level Solutions, LLC, , and author of Brook Marie’s 30 Day Family Fitness Challenge. Brook and her amazing husband, Raymond are the parents of two adoring sons—Chancellor Princeton and Jaiden Christopher.

You are P31 Effective

“You’re so fly, you’re so high
Everybody ’round you trying to figure out why
But what they don’t know is when you go home
And get behind closed doors, man you hit the floor
And what they can’t see is you’re on your knees
So the next time you get it just tell ’em
It’s the God in me, it’s the God in me”-  Song: God in me by Mary Mary

Yes, that is what we P31 Effect ladies all have in common. It is the God in you and in me. Do you ever stand still and focus on where you are in life? Do you ever think about what it is that makes you so outstanding within the crowd? Let me remind you today of who you are: You are a Proverbs 31 woman with a calling. Your status is not just ordinary, on the contrary it is very important and as you are growing up and developing yourself more and more, guaranteed that you will have the power of influence. Use it wisely for being a leader comes with great responsibilities. Every act or word you use will be observed by many around you.

The great thing of being a leader is that you can lead others up to do great things and you can inspire and motivate others to reach higher. That my girlfriend, is a beautiful assignment to have. We all have abilities, talents, and gifts that make us who we are. In whatever it is that you love to do, or are passionate about I encourage you to build your purpose around what you truly enjoy the most.

Relationships

When it comes to relationships make sure you surround yourself around others that are like minded. People can either break you or make you. “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).  As a virtuous woman serve God with all of your heart, mind, and soul. Seek His will and follow his ways. (Proverbs 31).  In all relationships be an imitator of Christ in everything you do, because you are his dear children. (Ephesians 5:1)

Career

When seeking out a career, make sure that you enjoy where you work. Make that what you love the most into a career, so work will never feel like a must. Most importantly as a P31 effective woman, “Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”  (Ephesians 6:7)

Self-Identity

As a P31 effective woman, your identity and self-worth comes from the One who created you: God. Therefore do not worry one second about comparing yourself to other girls around you, for you were created in His image.  Your DNA is in Christ Jesus, and with that it is predicted that you will be a successful and wonderful lady. You have it in you to be a light and to change others P31 effectively!

Stay Blessed, and be P31 Effective

Nikita Naomi Carter, a featured P31 Effect blogger,  is an audacious young International from Amsterdam, The Netherlands.  She is a dancer/choreographer and has been using her passion for over 15 years.  In her free time she travels the world and  is a missionary at heart.  Nikita currently lives in Tampa, FL, has a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from the University of South Florida.  She can be reached at https://nikita-carter.squarespace.com/about/

Better Days Ahead

After my husband and I had separated I felt like a “nobody” because my identity was through my husband and my children. Everything I did and who I was centered around pleasing them and so when my husband left me, I felt worthless, depressed, lonely, and afraid. There were many nights I cried asking God to give me strength and I knew in my heart that the place I was in wasn’t God’s fault but mine. I needed to take responsibility for the choices I had made in my life. The problem was I didn’t know where or how to start living again. I found myself staying away from church or people I believed would judge me because of what I did or the issues I was facing.

I am grateful and thankful to God for sending Brook Marie at the right time who invited me to attend INSPIRE. Honestly, at first I didn’t want to participate nor couldn’t see how talking or listen to other women talk about themselves was going to help me in anyway. I am so glad I listened.  I learned so many things through these women and throughout the process, learned a lot about myself. One thing I remember in particular is you have to come to a place where you stop blaming others for what is going on in your life, and move on.

I walked into INSPIRE with an open mind and I walked out knowing how special and worthy I am, and how much God loves me ‘truly.’ After graduation from INSPIRE, I was able to focus on the things that matter, and how to make a difference in my life and in my children’s lives. Since INSPIRE, I have obtained my United States citizenship, completed my undergraduate studies at the University of Phoenix and plan to go for my Master’s Degree.  I also became a licensed car auction dealer, and have been able to supplement my income.

I am truly grateful for the invaluable lesson that I can do all things through God and not worry about the things I cannot change. Let go and let God!

Angela Dolce

Class of 2012 INSPIRE Graduate

The driving force of our  Inspire! Lifeclasses is simple: the greatest catalyst of positive transformation in any community is strong and engaged leaders.  INSPIRE! delivers an uncommon strength to empower women (ages 22 and up) to realize their true potential and strategically develop their strengths to positively impact the world.  For more information, email us at inspire@thegenerationaleffect.com.

He’s just not that into you…and it’s ok.

 I know a lot of folks link my title phrase with the popular movie. “He’s Just Not That Into You. However, I had the pleasure of reading the book long before the movie came out (yes I am one of those lofty people). It was probably one of the most revelatory experiences of my life. The authors’ frank discussion of the signals regarding whether or not a man was interested in a woman was jarring, frightening, personally embarrassing and shockingly refreshing.

Being the conservative sort of person I am, (something I’m convinced the author is not, based on his choice language and a number of specific references–which are both reasons I cannot endorse it). I was shocked to find that a lot of his ideas on pursuit from the secular male perspective were extremely similar to mine. I remember watching every excuse that I’d ever made up for why a guy didn’t call, care or seem to be putting forth effort, crumble before my eyes.

One in particular was “If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind.” It’s harsh, it’s cold, it’s obvious but it’s honest. I would tell myself and my friends a million different lies ranging from “His last girlfriend really broke his heart” to “He’s just really focused on school, so he can’t call me that often.” The truth is that I didn’t want to admit the obvious… he just wasn’t that into me. Not that he wasn’t into me at all, given that we were dating thus having the discussion in the first place, but the reality was that he didn’t find me that intriguing, attractive, amazing or whatever he needed to feel compelled enough to call.

That realization was a painful one; for a long time I struggled with that idea. I felt angry and helpless. It’s mostly because I want to be perfect and odds are, so do you. If you came up to me and asked me if my aim was to be perfect I would probably say no but when I’m honest with myself I realize my daily aim is to never wear the wrong thing, say the wrong thing or act the wrong way especially when I’m with a guy I like. I, like many women, want to be perfect and I want every man in the world to want me. When they don’t, I often struggle with being offended. The only problem is, if every man in the world wanted me, how would I know my true love from anyone else? How would I know that he saw something in me that no one else did?

For years I grappled with rejection by an ex-boyfriend, trying to figure out how I could be everything he was looking for, everything any guy was looking for and it drove me insane. At times after our breakup, I’d hear from him and he would say things implying that he was missing me. I remember constantly eating it up only to be disillusioned by his lack of follow through. Finally I read, “Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.”

I know it’s tough. It hurts not being wanted or feeling like a guy you want can’t appreciate everything you are–because you really are amazing. But take courage, it takes a trained eye to tell a diamond from a crystal, so wait for the guy who has eyes only for you.

-Davrielle A. Burrows

Davrielle Burrows is a member of thegenerationaleffect.com Board of Directors and is one of our featured bloggers for the P31 Effect. She has a Mass Communications degree from Oral Roberts University. Born and raised in Nassau, Bahamas, for her the typical pressures that teenagers face were compounded as she grew up in the spotlight being the daughter of local ministers. At 16 she co-authored her first book of poetry and produced two singles. She delights in being an example by taking the road less traveled and loves getting opportunities to encourage others to do the same.

 

Love is in the air….

The stores were dressed in pink and red hearts, the teddy bears with “I Love You” were back and the supermarkets added extra assortments of heart shaped snacks and foods to their menus. Even if you wanted to, you simply cannot escape it. Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Valentine’s Day is one day out of the year that we focus on love a little bit more. Do we actually need Valentine’s Day to remind us of love? I believe that in everything we do or every place we go, we can choose to be an example of love. We show love in our words of affirmation, lifting other people up in encouragement, and our acts of service towards one another.

Let’s go a little bit deeper and focus on the meaning of love. We can find all kinds of definitions of the different types of love that are out there, but I want to focus on YOU right now. Do you know that you are loved? Do you know that you are worthy to receive love and respect? and that it is very important that you love yourself, before pouring love into someone else. In this day and age it happens quite often that we depend on others to be loved or feel loved. Your value is not found in the man you are with and your worth is not measured by the gifts you received this Valentine’s day or any other day of the year.

My gift to you in this month of love is to empower you and be reminded of this, because sometimes we might forget who we are in Christ, especially in a world that teaches us to love in the worldly way. After you realize again who you are as a woman of God, simply look into the mirror and speak the following: “I am uniquely created with a purpose to be lived out greatly by the Most High”

In this month of February I challenge you to express love every day towards someone who could use some love. Be inspired by the Word of God:

 ^“And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” – 2 John 1:5-6

Lots of love,

Nikita Carter

 

Nikita Naomi Carter, a featured P31 Effect blogger,  is an audacious young International from Amsterdam, The Netherlands.  She is a dancer/choreographer and has been using her passion for over 15 years.  In her free time she travels the world and  is a missionary at heart.  Nikita currently lives in Tampa, FL, has a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from the University of South Florida.